7 I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.[a]
8 I have set the Lord always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being[b] rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure. (Psalm 16:7-9 ESV)
Have you set the Lord always before you?
If not it could explain why you go through so many up’s and down’s. You are trying to equate how you feel based upon external feelings and happenings. You have to rely more upon how you know God responds to your life. But maybe you are unsure of this as well. Maybe life has been hard and you cannot relate to the feeling of inward joy placing your whole trust in God brings.
I have been through dark periods of the soul where I could not feel joy within. It took much prayer and scripture study for me to get beyond myself during these times. Because, you see the problem with these periods was within me and not with God. I was not focusing upon the joy that is inherent with truly believing and knowing that God has our back even when we cannot feel that He is there.
I will say that much of how I now feel came with the maturity of life and a constant faith in God and His plan. So now, even when my plans are going astray, I can lean back upon knowing that He has a plan and that I need to but stay within the guardrails He set for my life. Just living my life with Him ever before me.
