I am sitting at home today soaking in the past year and contemplating the coming year. It is the first and that is what you are supposed to do on the first.

The last week I had the privilege of having both of my kids and their spouses home for the holidays. A treat and maybe for the last time for a while. They are both working on getting their lives started in various parts of the world in the coming year. My son will most likely be deployed (Navy) and my daughter and her husband will most likely be headed to the mission field.

I had a pretty good year, all things considered. Dealt with a few health concerns, got a new job, bought things, sold things, got together with friends and family. You know, the standard stuff.

But the realization around the kids and some other personal retrospective has me a bit melancholy on the first. It’s not really empty nest syndrome, we have already pretty much dealt with that. It is more about the realization that we are now shifting into the “golden years” (mid-live to death – don’t be shocked you will get there too), and them not feeling so golden.

Yes, part of this is about missing our kids. But, at least for me, it is also about all of the other aspects of life that I though would be easier bu now, which are not. Not easier in the least. Actually, they are much more difficult and much more pressing as now I have fewer years left to make up for lost time to get me to golden.

I look at retirement as a distant possibility. I do not say this with a lot of remorse, as I really did not fully plan to retire. With the ministry work and writing I will always have something to do. But I had hoped to move on from the working world with some sibilance of good years to ride my motorcycles and travel.

All that takes money and looking at my retirement funds we will be doing good to get by if the economy does not improve pretty dramatically in the coming years. I wish I had put a LOT more back over the years. But that was difficult with all of the cost of just getting by raising a family during some of the more difficult economic years our country has seen. Yes, I could have scrimped and saved more over those years. However, I watched our investments (like everyone else did) just get chewed to pieces some years. We did pretty good with what we had but it has created a period of catch up late in life.

I have witnessed too many people who have worked their whole lives to make that retirement break to start living. Then just when they get there some injury or illness negates any possibility of doing anything other than taking care of the business of staying alive.

Now, I can sit and lament all of this and get right properly down. Or, I can look at it as a halcyon call to not allow life to pass me by in the process of living it.

Yes, I have to be a bit careful with my spending now if I want to have funds to live on later. However, that is all a planning exercise, and one that I must be honest is long overdue. Thus, my first goal is to get a better grip on my financial state. Money is too much a means to an end for me and not something I am careful about. I need a real plan, not just a vague idea of where I am headed.

I have a year long plan to get rid of a LOT of stuff we have around our house. Look, living in a house for 26 years, being married 35 and having two grown kids means you accumulate a lot of stuff. My second goal is to declutter our home and get to a small group of manageable things. I say manageable because when you accumulate a lot of stuff it becomes a burden, it becomes unmanageable. My attic is unmanageable! I am actually a little worried about the weight off all that is up there.

I am not getting any younger and if I do not focus on my health I will not make it to retirement. I did lose 30 pounds this last year due to finding out that I am diabetic, or on the edge of diabetic. I probably gained 10 back (in the last month – Thanksgiving to Christmas, Bah, Humbug!) and I need to get back to the full 30 off. I have been remiss in doing anything like working out. My energy for this is very low. But it has to be a priority, so goal number three is my health.

Lastly, I need to get purposeful about my relationships. If I am honest, I am not a good friend to have. I am a jealous hoarder of time. Probably because so much of it gets sucked up by work. However, I am very bad about keeping up with friends. So, I don’t have many. A final goal needs to be that I foster the friendships I have and work toward new friendships.

This is not about first of the year resolutions. Those never work. This is about habit change. I am going to reread Charles Duhigg’s fantastic book, “The Power of Habit”. If you have not read this book I highly encourage you to run out (online) right now and buy one! It can help you truly change the aspects of your life you most want to change.

As I said, this is not about resolutions, this is about setting measurable goals. In business I have a saying, “You cannot manage what you cannot measure” and I believe that this is true in every aspect of our lives. Without a measure of success how do you ever know when you have achieved anything. Thus, setting achievable goals and reaching for them with some level of measurable results is where habit change begins.

Lastly, I am looking to set one last goal for myself. I am not sure what it is yet, I am taking today to figure that out, but it will be a WOG. A Wildly Outrageous Goal, something far beyond my capability to achieve. I think that you need at least one of these in your life. You need a WOG to push yourself beyond what you are remotely capable of. Something that requires outside help and divine intervention to achieve.

It’s The First, I don’t want to let it be The Last.