If you have been reading here for any time, you have probably picked up on the fact that I am a big man. 6’6”, 235 lbs and it has been said that I can come across as … intimidating. Especially if I am in my motorcycling leathers.

I grew up being taught what being a strong man was supposed to look like. My parents were from the greatest generation. The one that produced a huge amount of strong men.

I have pushed my son to be a similar strong man. I have even pushed my daughter to be a strong woman in many ways.

Both are in their own way in their personality and in their faith.

I have always tried to balance this strength with humility. Tried to never be abusive either verbally or physically, even though that nature comes very natural to me. If you ever find yourself on my bad side, it can be a very uncomfortable place to be indeed.

While this has served me well at times, it too has been the greatest source of my weakness.

I have pushed back on my kids and my wife too hard at times.

I have pushed back on people in my business dealings too hard at times.

It has been a source of the insidious sin of pride in my life quite often.

Sometimes our most prevalent strength can be our greatest weakness.

The opposite can be true as well. I have encountered many who never find their strength. Who wallow in weakness never knowing they can stand against the tide.

In both life and business I have seen people walked on by others. Especially in business. Power breeds the worst kind of perceived and actual strength. This is why I have never done overly well in politically charged situations. I don’t play the games. For good or bad, what you see with me is what you get. I don’t have hidden agendas. I don’t suck up for favor. I have always treated the janitor the same way I treated the CEO.

Which is with respect.

My father drilled into me and I drilled into my children, “You are no better nor no worse than any other man, you and they deserve respect.”

I have watched respect fall by the wayside far too much these days. So much so that I think it needs to be fought for now.

It is easy when you are my size to demand respect. A lack of it can meet with harsh consequences. I rarely have too much issue with this, except within my business dealings. People seem to believe that position releases them of the responsibility of respect.

I beg to differ.

Some of the finest business men I have had the great pleasure to work with and for (Herb Kelleher and John Denison to name two I worked for at Southwest Airlines) never faltered in their display of respect for others at any level.

Power and respect need not be exclusive to one another. With great power or strength comes great responsibility. Yes, I can impose my strength through intimidation quite easily, many would say with just a look. But with this I devalue the individual and in doing so put myself in a place of power above him. The same can be done with positional power.

Trying to keep a humble nature helps me balance this, provides a bit of imposed weakness in my strength. Tempering it in such a way that it can be managed without impacting others negatively.

While I know this, I cannot say I am always good at practicing it. My basal nature, sadly, is that of a hammer. And as they say, to a hammer everything can look like a nail.

The circle graphic at the top of this is from Aikido. It is one of the many Martial Art’s styles I have studied and one that has stuck with me the most in concept. The circle with is light broken places and bold areas depicts perfectly the idea of strength in weakness and weakness in strength that the style reflects. It strives to balance the two together protecting both attacker and defender.

Furthermore, in all my dealings I try to keep my father, who battled a similar nature, and the best men in my spiritual life and my business life in mind. Each has taught me much about balancing strength and weakness.

We all have our failings. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. It is in the balancing of these that we and the world around us wins.