I may be loosing an old friend soon. Our 13 year old Schnauzer has been at the vets now for the better part of the week with pretty serious pancreatic problems. We go today to confer with the vet on next steps.

Another friend lost a beloved pet recently as well. One of the guys who works for me lost his wife. Two guys I work with have fathers who have been hospitalized recently with life threatening diseases.

We all deal with these turns of life differently. When my father passed I stuffed it down and a year later realized I needed help because I was dealing with clinical depression. When my mother passed I was able to sit with her, hold her hand and pray with her as she passed.

No one likes talking about this, but it is inevitable in this world. My belief system says that such sorrows are not a part of the next world, and I cling to that.

Saying goodby today though is never easy. Whether it is in death or just having to learn to let go.

My wife and I are dealing not only with the possible passing of our beloved dog, but are also dealing with that period of life when children move on. Our son is now married and off in another state far away in the Navy beginning his life. Our daughter is finishing up her college degree and will be going to the mission field in another country.

It is not an easy time.

We are looking at life from the center of the rope; seeing what we have woven in life behind us and the many possible strands ahead that will make up the remainder of our lives. Loss makes the strands ahead seem vague and unsure.

You see, this is how I view life. Every new day presents many possible strands before us. Each a path we choose to tread for that moment of that day. Each step, each tick of the clock, each breath, we make choices and step out on the strand that choice represents. Some strands are golden, some are less so. They all represent our free will and our ability to chose each moment in our lives. They are all woven into the colorful rope that stretches out behind us of this thing we call life.

It can become easy to be at a point like this, or what ever point you may be at, and see life as loss. See only the dark threads before you.

But there are lighter ones. Maybe you cannot chose the golden thread today, not that you will make a bad choice, but just not your best choice. But that is what life is about. Sometimes, when life is hard maybe the only choice you have energy to choose is the neutral thread. The “I just want to get by today” choice.

But you must choose. Even not choosing is a choice.

In this life we will deal with loss. How we deal with it is what matters most.

I don’t want to say goodby to Max, my schnauzer. I did not want to say goodby to my mother or my father. I don’t want to say goodby to my children. But life requires this to a greater or lesser extent from each of us.

For some situations I must say goodby with only the knowledge of reunion in another life. But with others, I must learn to say goodby and learn to look forward to the next hello and choose to make it ever so much sweeter.

I stand on my rope today looking back and looking forward. I have only this moment, only this breath; beyond that is God’s domain.