I am a product of Sammy Hagar’s “I Can’t Drive 55” generation. Not only is this true in my automotive life but as I rush headlong into my 55th year of life, I feel it more than ever.
No, this is not going to be a piece, like many before, on growing older. It is more of a retrospective on the impact of the past 55 years and two pivotal events; my son getting married and entering the Navy two years ago and my daughter getting married the day after my 55th birthday.
Aside from getting married and the birth of my two children, I can think of no time in my life where everything is shifting in such a big way.
My son and his wife are now at his duty assignment and a long way from us. Both doing well in their, still new, lives together.
A few years more and my daughter and her new husband will, most likely, take to the mission field and my wife and I will be cast fully adrift into the exceedingly empty nest sea.
I know this is really hitting her hard and, if I am honest, it is me as well. But probably in a bit different way. For her it marks a feeling of loss and a time of which she is unsure. For me, while I feel some of the same loss, I am looking more toward what I am (we are) going to do with our remaining years.
My wife and I have very different thoughts on this and both are tempered with both financial and time constraints I wish were not there. It also thrust us into a time when family members are getting older and need us close by to assist. Our time is still not our own.
This feels like a time for pivotal change and I am trying to gain some clarity around what this change should be. There is, as they say, no time like the present to make life changes.
Thus, I am casting about mentally and figuratively to try to determine what I do with the big Double Nickel. What I am to do with the short years I have left and what do I want my remaining legacy to look like.
I do know there are a few things that I need to attend to personally that I have been letting go a bit in the last few years. Not totally taking my hands off the wheel, but definitely riding one handed a bit too much for safety’s sake metaphorically.
I think too that this is a transitional period for me where who I am is shifting a bit and I have been fighting against the tide of change. When you get to this point in life the desire to make change tends to be stronger than the will to do so. Getting that in alignment is a definite must.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” (Lao Tzu)
The most difficult task is the letting go. At fifty five I have a lifetime of pretty set habits. Many of which I do not truly care for. However, about a year ago I decided that I must, from a dietary standpoint, take thing more seriously. Diabetes is not something I want to mess around with. Now, when I get a bit too much sugar in my diet it has a profound impact. I truly feel it. That opened my eyes.
Thus, I know change is possible and I am capable of making it in a lasting manner.
Hitting, what is most assuredly, the downward slope of life I have two choices; allow myself to succumb to the deterioration that age brings or fight against the tide.
So! Having decided upon change I can no longer allow myself the luxury of sitting back and not being effective. I see the changes that we all face as we age. Not only in my life, but I have watched and seen what the ravages of time can do to a persons mind and body.
That said, I am not good with weight concepts. I find less is more and simple is profound.
Thus here are my Double Nickel tenants of life – I am only focused on the first part, I give the latter as explanation to you the reader.
Move from Thought to Deed – I tend to overthink things, contemplating to much and acting too little. I am the master of planning. Ideas must become actions and I must move from them to actively pursuing the meaningful. Otherwise, all are simply well laid plans. This is no where more true than in my writing life. I have played at the fringes of writing, never fully engaging in the art to produce more than articles. The same, in recent years can be said about my ministry activity. Lots of ideas, not enough action. This is my thought life – Mind.
Move from Stationary to Active – Do not allow my life to be come sedimentary physically or mentally. Allowing the mind or body to rest too much is dangerous. Newton’s first law is never more born out in this. The physical body and the mind must stay in motion, active. This is my physical life – Body.
Move from Passive to Active – I find that I tend toward passive activity, waiting for people to come to me rather than I to them. Thus my friendships then to be too much of a one way street. I must be more active in my relationships, doing more from the heart – even with my family. This is my relational life – Spirit.
I began this blog with the idea of Mind, Body and Spirit, and throughout life I have know that a proper focus and balance is needed of these three. My spiritual life has been strong. My mental life has been one of deep thought and my physical life has been about constant motion. However, these seem rarely in balance.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” (Lao Tzu)