How many times have you run into that person that just is so … irritating  …. frustrating … not, you!

I mean really! How dare these people not do, say, feel the same way we do!

We have a tendency to want others to be like us and we can be quick to judge others by our own standards of what we believe to be … correct.

My family will tell you that I am not tolerant with others. While this can be true it typically stems from my impatience more than me really having an issue with others. I wish I were not this way. I have not done well over the years improving this part of my personality. Especially when I am driving.

However, in personal settings I tend to be very accepting of others as they are.

No, I am not above being judgmental. I am just as apt to it as anyone else. But, again, this tends to be more due to impatience rather than wanting another to be whom they are not.

Now I must be fair and tell you that there are plenty of people I would like to “set straight”. But that comes from my age, I think, and wanting to see others use good judgement. I have watched so many spiral down not using good judgement with life decisions.

But who am I to “set them straight”?

This seems as if it would be a mental exercise, I know, but I feel it is far more a spiritual exercise. The mind tries to form things from our personal construct. The soul feels empathy and reaches out to accept others as they are. That is if we can keep our minds in check and allow our soul to empathize.

I think when we take this perspective step back and open ourselves to the needs of others we quickly see how our empathy reaches beyond the surface.

People, in many cases today, are hurting. From this pain many less than favorable behaviors manifest.

If we get disconnected personally from one another, behind the wheel of a car or behind the glass of our computer screens, we feel anonymous. As such, we tend to lash out, act out, and dehumanize others.

Riding a motorcycle I see this in how people act on the road. There is little concern for others around us and we are focused on getting where we are going. Sometimes at all cost. And this when the few moments we save by being aggressive, in the grand scheme of things, amounts to nothing.

Online we can be anonymous and take on any personality traits we want. I have seen this manifest on forums and other online interactions where someone is hidden behind an online persona. Trolling others has all but become a past time of many online. If not downright deception.

When we begin to project ourselves on others we are inadvertently projecting our flaws just as much as our virtues. As such, how can we hope to improve ourselves if we are not listening, openly to others so that we can learn as much as we teach?

The old saying, “We have two ears and one month, so we can listen twice as much as we talk”, holds very true here.

I used to be, and still can be, a very passionate speaker. But I have, over the years, tried to listen more. My only problem is that when I feel I am right on a topic I tend to not be very open to bending my perception to someone else’s views.

I recognize this for what it is; stubbornness. Of which I was given an extra helping when I was formed.

Those who are closest to me I am very open about pointing out a perceived flaw when I should keep my mouth shut. I am only in my fifties, so I am still learning.

And do not get me wrong, this is not a treatise on tolerance. We should have our own principles and values that we stand firm on. The nonnegotiable as I like to call them.

However, this does not mean that you cannot have yours as well. My lack of tolerance toward another’s specific view on a topic does not have to manifest in me trying to push my views upon them. I must be open and willing to listen to others views and accepting of their right as individuals to feel and see things the way they do without the need to change them.

Thus, I try to reach out with my soul more than with my mind in these instances. Embracing the person whether or not I embrace their view. Accepting of the person regardless of our differences.

I think my father did a good job teaching me this aspect of life. He never met a stranger and I strive to be this way as well.

I do not need to try to manipulate another to my way of thinking when I am embracing them with my soul. Where I can hear them truly, feel their pain and embrace them for who and where they are right now!

The mind is an easily corrupted thing. The soul less so.